“Better a loving no than a resentful yes”

Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships, yet they are often overlooked or neglected. Boundaries help define what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior, and they allow individuals to protect their emotional and physical well-being. Managing boundaries in relationships can be challenging, but it is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. In this article, we will discuss four ways to manage better boundaries in relationships.

1. Communicate your boundaries clearly

The first step in managing better boundaries in relationships is to communicate them clearly. Be open and honest about what you need from the relationship and what you are willing to accept. If you do not communicate your boundaries, your partner may unknowingly cross them, leading to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Most often people are unaware and are willing to work with you upon receiving communication.

When communicating your boundaries, be specific and use "I" statements to avoid placing blame on others. For example, instead of saying, "You are making me angry," say, "I feel upset and disrespected when you ______." This prevents us from mistakenly seeing others as responsible for our emotional state. Take power and control for yourself by being responsible for your emotions.

2. Be consistent in enforcing your boundaries

Once you have communicated your boundaries, it is essential to be consistent in enforcing them. If you let others cross your boundaries once, they may assume that it is acceptable behavior and continue to do so in the future.

If others cross a boundary, take a deep breath, and calmly remind them of the boundary. If they continue to ignore your boundaries, it may be necessary to re-evaluate the relationship. Most people will work with you to create harmony. It is more of a warning signal if they become aware of the boundary and continue to cross it willingly.

3. Practice self-care

Self-care is crucial for maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships. When you prioritize your needs, you are better equipped to communicate your boundaries and enforce them.

Self-care can include physical activities such as exercise, meditation, or yoga. It can be eating well. Getting good sleep. Being in nature. It can also include activities that bring you joy, such as reading, spending time with friends, or pursuing a hobby.

4. Surround yourself with supportive people

Surrounding yourself with supportive people can help reinforce your boundaries and provide you with a support system when you need it. This can include friends, family members, or a therapist.

Having supportive people in your life can also help you identify when your boundaries are being crossed, as they may notice behaviors that you overlook. Often times we can be in a fog about what is ok and what is not ok. Other people can attempt to gaslight or falsely guilt us into violating our boundaries and accepting unacceptable behavior. Having healthy others around you to reflect your personal value system and challenge behaviors from the outside can be helpful.

In conclusion, managing better boundaries in relationships is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. Communicating your boundaries clearly, being consistent in enforcing them, practicing self-care, and surrounding yourself with supportive people can help you maintain healthy boundaries and build stronger relationships. Remember, setting boundaries is not about being difficult or demanding; it is about respecting yourself and others. Good boundary keeping can feel messy at first but becomes easier over time. Understanding and holding healthy boundaries is an act of love for yourself and the other. It is better to have a "loving no" than a "resentful yes."